Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D: Episode Three, A New Hope. Not Really.S

OK OK I'm not going to belabor the points as everything I said from last week still stands. Characters, with the exception of Coulson are pretty bad. And the show is mind numbingly intelligence insulting.

Highlights from this episode

  • I DROPPED OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL! GET IT!?!? THEY ARE NERDS THAT DONT TALK ENGLISH! LOLOLOL I HAVE WRITTEN A FUNNY JOKE. Ok, personal pet peeve. Goddamn scientists.
  • Herp Derp. Ultra high tech security. No one notices the girl gibber gabbering away in the middle of the funtimes.
  • I swear when they showed Ward showing Skye how to disarm someone, I did not think for one moment that that skill that she somehow mastered in 30 seconds would be used during this episode.
  • The entire time she was chit chatting with Dudebro the scientist I was thinking, Boy! I bet she is really going to join him, what with all that talk about "THAT MOMENT". This show's foreshadowing is as subtle as a brick to the head. You can pretty much tell the whole rest of the episode from the first ten minutes.
  • Music still sucks. Especially at the end when Ward is watching Skye box I just kept thinking, "after school special".
  • The Good: I hope to GOD that the non stupidly portrayed scientist (although of course if scientists aren't airheaded chatterboxes, they're evil in some capacity) that (SPOILER) SPOILER
  • Was pushed into the gravitonium (no points were deducted from the ridiculousness of this premise as it's comic books so, fine)
  • Ends up coming back as GRAVITY MAN! or something.
  • OK final thoughts:

It's not as bad as I make it out to be, but it's not very good either. One of the things I think hurt it is being on ABC. It's a "family" channel. I'm not asking for them to be dropping F bombs while clawing lustily at female genitals ala Game of Thrones, but I feel like the PG rating essentially tries to shoehorn The Wolverine into Archie Comics. It's hard (although, as has been proven numerous times so it's not impossible) to make a show that appeals to everyone that doesn't alienate someone. But here I feel like they're trying to hard to appeal to everyone and actually end up alienating everyone instead.

I might still continue watching, but it's getting harder and harder each week to sit down and watch, especially when my netflix queue is beckoning to me, "House of Cards!"