Life on this planet might as well end because Sony decided to release their Play Station 4 console without fixing its fatal flaw: wobble.
Xbox 360 had the Red Ring of Death, and Play Station 3 had the Yellow Light of Doom. But those problems didn't develop until later. Right out of the gate, the Play Station 4 has the Wobble of Destruction.
This is a major architectural flaw.
Even a small wobble can irreparably scratch a game disc. Everybody knows bumping, moving, turning a system on its side with a spinning disc inside can create a deep circular scratch. An already wobbly console, sensitive to movements, increases your chances of scratching your game discs. These kinds of scratches are almost impossible to repair in many cases. Everybody knows that!
Sony, what happened?! What we've got here is a failure to communicate.
You know, a wobble in a brand new console is just bad form. Imagine going out on a date, dropping $400 on dinner, and the table wobbles the whole time. It spoils the romantic mood. Imagine buying a $400 computer desk only to discover the desk itself wobbles. Worse desk ever.
Sony, for crying out loud! I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!
I don't make consoles for a living (You do.) so I shouldn't have to waste my valuable time telling you how to do your job; by Odin, fix this Wobble of Destruction now. Place rubber bumpers thoughtfully on the underside of the PS4, on the double.
That way, when we play your console, it won't move up and down like a barge in choppy water.
Need to contact the fake ranter? Try Twitter at @marshnaylor