Hey! You ... YES, YOU! ... Got Any Trading Cards You Can Trade?

Ah. The Steam Summer Sale. A time when you can earn things you'll have no use for; such as "badges," "community levels" and "credit card debt." But now Steam has introduced their most diabolical plan yet ... trading cards. And I've fallen for it ...

Hook. Line. Virtual Sinker.

So I've gotten my 10 cards. Hell, I've gotten 17 of my 10 cards! But still, I'm 3 cards short of the 10 cards I need.

How is that possible?!? You ask through a case of the vapors, while reaching for the smelling salts.

Let me tell you, my friends — it's possible because Steam is sending out duplicate cards. Lots and lots of duplicate cards. And that's where the plan becomes diabolical.

Of the limited number of friends I have on Steam (5 or 6, last I checked), only 1 has a card I need and he's ignoring my requests to trade. And even if he wasn't twiddling his dick and ignoring my pleas for humanity and compassion and instead traded a card with me, I would STILL end up short by 2 cards.

This is why I'm coming to you, Kotaku, virtual hat in virtual hand (my real hands are busy typing and I don't wear hats, outside of Animal Crossing), to ask if any of y'all have any doubles of trading cards you could trade with me (or, if you don't need any cards, if you could be kind enough to exchange for this amusing, and desperate, Talk Amongst Yourselves posting).

If you're interested, put your Steam username in the postings below and I will add you as a friend on Steam. Heck, we may get something more out of this than an image of something that looks somewhat like a trading card. We make get a friendship. We may find true love! Maybe marriage! But that's still days in the future. What we could genuinely get though, is another friend on our list to play games with online and to trade with during the NEXT summer sale!

It's all in your hands now, Kotaku community. Fail me, fail summer. Do you REALLY want to fail summer? That's what I thought ...