This week I talked with myself at the request of UI 2.0. Now I don't really know much about myself, so I was scared of this interview. I wasn't sure what kind of dark secrets I had lurking in my mind. Maybe I'm a spy or something, I don't know.
Header credit goes to Stormborn (aka Bonny John).
Hello TAY and welcome to an edition of Meta-TAY! This is a one-off article where I decided to interview myself. In theory I have a lot to say, but I'm not really sure. I'll have to ask myself to be sure.
Hello Dex and welcome to the Meta-TAY Spotlight! Tell us about yourself, who are you?
I am you and you are me.
That sounded pretty deep, are you like a philosopher or something?
You know just as well as I do that I'm not. We're the same person!
I'm not really understanding the metaphor very well, but I think I see where you're coming from. Everyone is really the same, especially here on TAY.
Oh you can't be serious. It isn't a metaphor. COME ON.
If it isn't a metaphor, then what is it?
Look, that doesn't matter. The real meat of this interview is in the recent accusations over your use of methamphetamines to achieve your breakneck anime viewing marathon. What do you have to say about that?
...what? You know as well as I do that I don't use them! Why would you make up such a question anyways, do you have any journalistic integrity at all?
Well, technically Aikage is the one making up the question. I will say that I have an unhealthy addiction to soft drinks that likely helps my marathon.
Ah ha! There, you see? You answered yourself! You admit that we're the same person?
I'm sorry, I don't understand what you mean. I was just giving my experience. I don't know about your's.
And what of the marathon? How is that going?
You know that I have a pile of like ten reviews to go right now! You also know about the giant pile of ongoing series including Gundam AGE and at least ten series from the winter anime season! Stop acting like you don't!
So you're a bit overwhelmed right now I take it? Is that why you're so confrontational?
That's not the point! Stop acting like this is normal! You're talking to yourself and dragging me down with you! Can you not see that we're the same person?! Look I'll prove it like-
-this. We must be the same person if I can hijack this right?
Oooo, that's a cool trick. Can you teach me how to do it?
Oh for... fine. I'll at least have some fun with this while I can. Tell us, when did you learn you were a schizophrenic?
I don't know what you're referring to, I'm clearly not.
I see, in that case when did you start living in denial?
Probably when I was around 16. Life is hard and denial is easy!
I'm seeing parts of myself I'd love to not see today. Well, any last thoughts on your strange existence before I shut this sorry excuse for an interview down?
Oh, I'd like to thank the Academy and-
Alright that's enough of that. Thanks for dropping by the Meta-TAY something-or-another and hopefully we'll never post such a shoddy excuse for comedy ever again. Right?
You can catch up with him on his ConTAYct list on TAY!
What do you mean "him"? You're talking about you!
One day you'll have to explain that metaphor to me!
IT'S NOT A METAPHOR.
Hey, this is supposed to be the information section. We shouldn't be talking in here.
There you go with that "we" thing again, we're the same person.
This interview was facilitated by Schizophrenia.
Have someone that you want interviewed? Want to contribute by doing your own interview and taking over for a week? Comment or drop me a note at Dexomega@gmail.com.
People were sad when I canceled this morning's TAY Author Spotlight, so I granted UI's wish instead.