Alright, I'm sure everyone is eagerly awaiting the...theme for the new run. I have two but I'm only willing to disclose one today: celebrities.

So after doing some of MST3K's greatest hits in the last run I figured we could go deeper, stupider, more boring and ill thought out. Trust me, it's going to get worse before it gets better, but first I heard you liked van Patten in your movies...

p>Timothy van Patten, heir to the van Patten b-movie dynasty, would eventually become an accomplished writer scripting episodes for the Sopranos. However, he gave acting a try. A college try. A serious, deep try. Sadly he seems to have not been able to ignore the fact that he's a terrible actor, unlike the rest of his family.

Master Ninja 1 is two episodes of an hour long show stuck together. Lee van Cleef, who actually starred in good, bad?, and movies. Sorry I went nuts with links. He was the villain in The God, the Bad, and the Ugly. "Tuco!!!".

So if this series goes to show anything it's that actors are actors all the time and always need to work. Sometimes though they're just getting started like one Demi Moore. (ooh, ahh, wow, so Demi)

But I think it's got some good riffs, though it is kind of weird watching celebrities in a stinker like this. It really has this weird tone, you know something that really feels like mid 80s action TV, only with van Cleef doing his best version of "Kung Fu." (RIP Kung Fu). So we can forgive Master Ninja 1, it thought it was a bad TV show not a bad movie. Still, this is going to get worse before it gets better.