MSTay3K: Leave the Bronx

You're all being given free trips to New Mexico. This is the reason rock videos aren't meant to be full motion pictures. So, I think this will be the last one of these on Sunday, moving to Monday. Sunday is just too dead to really get any sort of interest apparently. I thought maybe I could turn that tide, but I think Monday works as well. Anyways, for the final Sunday MST3K episode we have 705 Escape 2000.

From Italy, we get a story about the Bronx. Our lead, Trash, is a sort of Rambo crossed with Eddie Van Halen. When we first meet him he shoots down a helicopter. And he cares about his parents, trying to keep them from being taken to the American southwest. Everyone is being ordered to "Leave the Bronx." Why?

No seriously, why? I mean, that's one of the craziest ideas to start off a film. "Leave the bronx" who are they kidding?

But no man can force Trash to leave the Bronx. He is a sort of smuggler, bringing items to some members of a "holdout underground" and eventually finds himself in the middle of a plot to save the Bronx from becoming a condominium. Or a mall. I forget, some sort of urban development project that's more valuable than the basic taxable commerce the million plus people who live in the Bronx engage in daily.

Later still Trash ends up kidnapping the president. All this effort just to keep from leaving the Bronx. And as a leading man Trash surprises you. He's actually quite terrible. Not good at talking or emoting in any way. I mean, when you get to the end and Trash wins I guess he's happy? I'm not sure. Maybe the whole thing has amused him? I mean I think he might end up leaving the Bronx for a bit, still not sure.

For the Mads we have one of the middle episodes. Dr. F has his mom staying with him, and he's put her in a home. Before Pearl was the main Mad she was in a whole slew of episodes as his visiting mother. I guess she got younger or something whenever she took over the show. I don't really question that part of the narrative. But this might be the best use of her as the older lady-being stuck in a tiny home for an episode.

I think it's an excellent episode, not my favorite for sure, I actually don't think anyone would say it's their "favorite" episode, but if you're going to list your favorites it might crack the list. Just like it has for me. The opening 15 minutes of "leave the Bronx" being repeated is just mind-bending. And the movie is an excellent pick. It works almost as well as most B-movies, but it just has a few touches(or lack thereof) that leave it really stinking. Obviously part of it is that it's a cut-up version of a film from Italy, but at least some effort could have been made.

One of my absolute favorites next time, in the not too distant future, MSTay3K: Big McHuge Large.

MSTay3K: Leave the Bronx