Ramblepost: Walking Dead (Major spoilers) and a nice weekendS

Two weekends ago was a bust in terms of not doing anything productive. This weekend I'm home free. After a few hours of L4D2, watching Nuke 'em High, playing some Killing Floor, and eating a snack here and there, I decided that it was finally time.

I had picked up The Walking Dead when it came out for the PS3. I wasn't expecting much as I'd been hereto unimpressed with Telltale's outings. Sam and Max lost steam rather quickly for me. Jurassic Park showed some promise but was ultimately a let down due to a massive amount of game breaking audio bugs and visual glitches. Back to the Future failed to launch for me. I figured that Telltale games just weren't for me.

I was wrong.

I was halfway through chapter four when life events forced me to turn off my PS3.

Part of me says that I keep the PS3 off because of technical problems. Because, I don't have the right connectors (I do), because the TV is too old and I don't want to play it and keep my daughter awake at night (she's not a light sleeper). I say these things but the truth is that there are memories there. There are memories in the games that are stored on the hard drive. In the trophies uncovered. In the games left in a state of halfway completion. Memories in the pink controller, in the camoflauge, in the black one with the worn off thumbstick.

But that's neither here nor there. The main point is that the PS3 isn't going back on right now. I'm not ready to walk down that memory lane just yet. Since January of 2013 it has sat unused and probably will for some time into the future.

I bought a PS Vita in October that came with The Walking Dead. I installed it figuring I'd get an easy platinum out of it. The ending that Lee died had already been spoiled for me so I figured that I'd just hurry up and finish it. The first three chapters flew by, I knew what was coming and while they weren't boring, they certainly did not hold the thrill they had for me when I had played previously. Chapter four started to actually drag a bit and I was disappointed that it turned out Crawford was a ghost town. That Molly had started it all was not a particularly surprising or interesting revelation.

The chapter began to wind down and Lee runs outside to find Clementine, the girl he's been treating as if she were his daughter, has been kidnapped. I figured, credits roll. But then something interesting happened.

Lee got bit.

Prior to this I hadn't known the exact circumstances behind Lee's death. I just assumed that he got attacked and dragged down at the very end, trying to save Clementine.

But instead we venture into Grave of the Fireflies territory. You watch Lee over the course of a chapter, slowly fade away. Then to make matters worse, the end has Clementine shoot you. I think there's a choice to have her just leave you, but I figured that was too much of a risk. I was fading fast and there was no guarantee that she'd be able to figure out a way to leave before I came back as one of them. And beyond that, I'm not a religious man, but it seems questionable if a soul is inside a walker. If I were to die as a man, I may be able to be with my loved ones again. To live again as a walker may deny me that. Maybe there was some selfishness as well.

Regardless, my physical self was doing OK. It was surprising and I didn't really expect it but so far I'd been holding it together. But then there's the talk. The talk where Clementine begs you for something that you can't give her. She says something that every little girl has said to her father at one point, "I'm too little!"

Sometimes I'll joke around with my daughter and ask her to do things I know she can't. If she comes to wake me up in the morning I'll ask her if she made my coffee. If I'm running late I'll ask her to start the car. I'll ask her to read me a book if I'm not feeling particularly into reading that night. Invariably she'll respond, "I'm too little!" It was after Clementine said those words that I began to actually cry. Not Dawson's creek meme cry, but it'd be a disservice to say I was misty eyed. There were some tears.

Why did I waste all this space writing all this? I think I just wanted to say, "My name is Aikage, and this? This is why I game."